


Writing You A Million Miles Away

by Morrigan_Healy



Series: Bandom Oneshots [6]
Category: Bandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 11:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18893389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morrigan_Healy/pseuds/Morrigan_Healy





	Writing You A Million Miles Away

If this wasn't meant to be you could had just told me sooner.

The longer I stayed, the more I wanted to forget where I'd been, who I'd been with before you. For all the shy good-morning-my-dear smiles, and goodnight eskimo kisses with the comforter pulled up to my chin before you went downstairs to the basement to play guitar, there was a part of me remembering every moment. 'This was never my reality.' A little voice whispers in the back of my mind, but somehow, I'm too busy drowning it out with your music to care.

'For every lazy morning I woke up to the sound of running water from the bathroom sink from you brushing your teeth, I had 'We've Got A Big Mess On Our Hands' stuck in my head from the get-go, your flipped and awkwardly reversed lefty curse leaving a note beside my pillow, 'to my lovely lady' it always began, you having woken before me, not wanting to disturb me. For every morning like that, there was a night I wouldn't forget. Under the Covers - it wasn't just the series of acoustic cover videos you posted every other thursday on youtube, it was more than that.

It was scary movies, with us staring wide eyed at the screen, you holding a bag of microwave popcorn, me curled up next to you, not really watching the movie but instead looking at you, because you make me feel safe. There's just something about what I'd told my friends, the saying caught on almost as quickly as your 'hips don't lie' thing did with the old fandom...you have molten chocolate lava eyes, and I know that sounds hopelessly romantic, but it's true. There's just something about your gaze that makes me never want to look away.

And then, I remember watching Twilight, how we'd laugh at the mediocre acting and K-Stew's unchanging facial expressions. And how afterwards, during the climatic battle, I begged you to turn if off so we could go watch my favorite vampire movie - Fall Out Boy's video for A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me. This always ended with you wearing the black dermafelt derby, me complaining aout the fact you had to cut your hair. We both knew I'd have your cloak around me by the end of the night, arms cradling that faux fur pelt when they weren't wound around you.

It was nice, you being taller than me. I had someone to hide behind when the cameras got too close (read: when they weren't focusing on Pete, Brendon, Gabe, or any of our other FBR friends), someone to stand on tip-toe in order for me to kiss - someone to pick me up into his arms and make me feel like a little girl all over again.

Every week was a new challenge, trying to get home in time for morning classes - getting back to Milwaukee by seven was real fun, then every Friday catching the amtrak as soon as my feet could get me off campus to take me back 'home' to you. Well, I was your girl Friday after all.

It's been almost four months on from that fateful October night when I as a stupid love/starstuck sophomore in college quite literally fainted into your arms - that was the first time I truly lost myself in your eyes. You said my name the way my cousins always said it, accented the last 'e' ever so slightly, and it left me only falling harder.

I didn't realize two months later I'd be sitting front row at Reggie's for the Snakes & Suits annual acoustic show, humming along to everything not only because I knew it, but because you had told me your setlist ahead of time. And when you played After The Last Midtown Show, how all the old TAI fans gasped and treasured the moment - this wasn't played often since my parents' anniversary, the day of the beginning of the fall of the nine years you'd spent with Mike, Tom / Michael, Adam and Andy. But I knew I wouldn't have to treasure the moment as everyone else would - I would hear it again that very night as I lay with you, my head on your chest in the darkened bedroom, my heartbeat keeping time as you sang, just soft enough to lull me into dreamland.

It's like you sang in Everything We Had, 'I'll be with you wherever you go, through the eyes of a fly on the wall'. I still have your Blackhawks jersey, tucked into the bottom of my duffel bag. You're not getting it back, so just forget about it. If I diserve a reminder, I don't want the only thing to be your voice on old CDs, be it Remember Maine or The Academy Is..., or even your new stuff, a la the three EPs, or even 48 In A Hospital.

If I was a typical girl, I'd burn photos and shred letters, cry myself to sleep everynight and shut myself off from the rest of the world. But musicians don't succumb to these trival punishments, no, you know as well as I we suffer fates much worse than breaking up with or boyfriend or girlfriend. This is why I'm writing you - maybe you'll see - I was trying to keep up, and I wasn't about to 'watch this one die without a fight'.

When you get this - write back. I long to see that lefty curse in action, and you know I can read it because I suffer it just the same. Until next time, I'll count the miles, and these memories are never to be forgotten. Santi.'

But here I stand, the Windy City's highest skyscrapers behind me as I walk to the amtrak station, to head back home, where I really belong. It's to Milwaukee I'll go, Milwaukee I'm to stay. The letter is still clutched in my hand, I can't decide if I really want to send it. But if I want to move on, I'm going to have to. The wind buffets my face as I make my way to Union Station, Winter Passing stuck in my head, entwined with the chorus to Warriors. This'll never be my city, no matter how much of a Dandie I believe I could be. Not like I care anyways, because tonight, the minute my feet hit my dorm room, I'll sit down at my desk, and I'm going to be writing you (a million) miles away, and tonight, it's all about 'I miss you.'


End file.
